13th of April, 2018
The path of the creative.
Why did I choose it?
Well, I didn’t actually… it chose me. I believe that all beings are creative in some form or another. As an artist I have a really challenging time quieting the artist in them. I’ve tried to do it. I’ve worked a handful of jobs outside of the creative realm in an attempt to quiet the artist in me. Or to keep my art as a “hobby”. It only lead to emptiness, lacking passion and purpose. No matter how many times others would try to justify the ways in which I was making a difference; like making someone a coffee or relieving their stress with a cocktail or beer. It was empty for me. It was fun but in the end drained my battery. At times I felt as though the creative side of me was seeping out because I couldn’t keep in all the ideas and urges flowing through me.
AND to make things even worse, avoiding it caused me to be more irritable and angry with humanity. Basically the opposite of my goals: compassion, care and love.
I love knowing that I will be able to pay all of my bills (especially rent) and still be able to do a few extra curricular activities that I enjoy and a J O B provided that for me. It was reliable but my soul was dying and I felt it. My relationships were affected, my self care was low, my sleep was hit or miss and I felt low. I’ve even considered working for a firm or company as a graphic designer. Why? So that I can remain complacent and know every month that I will make a certain amount of money to survive. If there is one thing I know more than anything, it’s that I need freedom. Freedom to do my thing, freedom to follow the creative urge, freedom to grow at a pace that’s different than having a boss..
No matter how much I tried to fit in that box I just don’t fit. It’s taken me years, and still working on this, to accept that about me. To feel empowered that I should be working for myself. To believe that I can create things that people want to experience.
SO HERE I AM, week 2 (literally) of leaping out into the world as my own business: Chelsea Willett Designs. Offering a variety of services filled with passion and purpose. A leap of faith into a place I really do not know a thing about. I have been filled to the brim with supportive and kind words. People believe in me. So why the hell should I not believe in myself?